Adult Bullying

Are you an adult experiencing bullying in your workplace or church? I have had several adults share with me their experiences with being a target of bullying behavior either in their workplace or at their church. Adult bullying is similar to student bullying in that they share similar characteristics, such as jealousy, the power to cause hurt and pain, or failure to understand the differences in others. A student is exposed repeatedly to taunting by one or more classmates. Similarly, adult bullying occurs when an employee experiences a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others that causes them harm. The bully could be a co-worker, church member or a boss. The bully could include such ploys as verbal, nonverbal, physical abuse, psychological abuse and humiliation. In the hopes of making themselves feel good, they may try to steal your self-confidence.

Mistreatment by a bully could be:

• blaming you for mistakes;

• insulting your intelligence;

• placing unreasonable work demands on you;

• sabotaging you;

• giving invalid criticism;

• creating exclusion or social isolation;

• failing to give you credit for work done, and/or,

• threatening you with job loss.

In two surveys by the Workplace Bullying Institute and Zogby International, 35 percent of workers experienced bullying first hand, and 62 percent of the bullies were men. A Harris Interactive poll conducted in 2011 revealed that 34 percent of women reported being bullied in the workplace.  So you are not alone.

Targets of consistent bullying could experience significant physical and mental health concerns.  Are you frequently absent from work, have musculoskeletal problems or have low self-esteem? Do you face financial worries because of absences? Are you unable to sleep and/or are depressed?

Take action

You could start by talking with the bully. Let him or her know how their behavior makes you feel. Understand that you are not the source of the problem and that bullying is about gaining control. You could next talk with your supervisor or your Human Resource Department. Be sure to document all conversations with the date, time and who you spoke with, and include any witnesses. Start a paper trail of emails and texts received and sent. A paper trail may help if the bully denies inappropriate behavior.